Dating Profiles

The Gym Selfie, the Car Selfie and the Competing Toilet Roll

You’re Probably More Attractive Than Your Dating Profile Suggests

From personal experience, I’ve been completely smitten with someone just from their photographs alone. The power of a good piccy can give you a proper surge of excitement.

But I’ve also come across some shockingly bad photographs of people who are actually, genuinely, properly hot. Men who could look fantastic, yet somehow manage to make themselves look considerably less appealing through a combination of questionable angles, horrendous lighting and some truly baffling background choices.

Take the gym bathroom selfie.

I was trying to look at the person. Honestly, I was. But the toilet roll had other ideas.

As much as I try to suppress my photographer’s eye, I simply can-NOT-STOP looking at the toilet over his left shoulder. I know I’m supposed to be looking at him. I’m trying to look at him. But the toilet is right there, even the bog roll dangling down and saying, “Hello!” It’s a busy background.

True story. I swiped left…

Now, I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with a selfie. They’re quick, convenient and we all take them. But if you’re trying to attract someone, it might be worth considering what your photographs are actually saying about you: your interests, your lifestyle, even how you might dress for that all-important first date.

First impressions are just that, whether online or in person. What do you want yours to say?

Maybe that you drive a lot..?

You could be exactly the sort of man someone is hoping to meet. But if your profile consists of low-angle, up-the-nose shots, gym mirrors and photographs in which the bathroom is arguably the most prominent feature, you might not be giving people much of a chance to discover that.

The up-the-nose angle. Not necessarily the first impression you were hoping for.

So, let’s start with a few tips for taking better selfies. Better angles, better light, fewer toilets. The basics.

A few tips if you’re sticking with selfies

1. Rest your phone on something, set the timer and STEP BACK.

Seriously. Prop it up somewhere stable, set the timer and move away from the camera. Keep trying different positions, angles and expressions until you’re happy with the results. You might feel a bit daft doing it, but nobody needs to know how many attempts it took to get the shot.

2. Dress to impress.

Think of this as your first date. For that initial profile picture, make an effort and wear something that makes you feel good about yourself. The other photographs in your gallery can show your downtime vibes, hobbies and everyday life. Give people a sense of both the polished you and the everyday you.

3. Ask a friend.

Show them the photograph and ask, honestly, “What do you think of this one?” Not just whether they like it, but what impression it gives them. Does it look like you? Is the background distracting? Would they swipe right? Sometimes another pair of eyes will spot something you’ve completely missed…

The toilet roll saying, “HEYYYYYY! I’M OVER HERE!”

But then I have to ask: why are we relying entirely on selfies in the first place?

I’m a photographer. I spend my working life photographing people, and I know the difference a good photograph can make. With decent light, a little direction and someone who knows how to get the best out of you, I reckon I could make you look a squillion times better than your dating profile currently suggests.

The beautiful thing about a professional camera is the lens glass. It’s bloody expensive.*

In a world where some men are using Snapchat-filtered photos on their dating profiles, a strong, beautifully composed image is going to stand out. Even the luxury of a decent full-body photograph, rather than a mass of selfies, will make your profile pop!

*Did I tell you I’m a nerd?

A full-length photograph. Thanks, Mum.

And no, you don’t have to look like you’ve just stepped out of a perfume advert, or pose on a windswept clifftop looking wistfully towards the horizon.

You just need photographs that look like you, show a bit of personality and make someone curious enough to want to know more.

The group photo conundrum

From my (un)Hinged experience…

All I ask is that we stop using the group photo as your primary profile picture.

I don’t know which one you are!

I appreciate that you have friends. It’s lovely. I’m delighted. But I’m on a dating app, not looking for a round of Where’s Wally!

We live in a world of incredibly quick swiping. If I have to scroll through your photographs to establish which person I’m supposed to be interested in, there’s a chance I’ll have moved on before I find out.

Which rather defeats the object, doesn’t it?

Save the group shots for later in your profile. Let me see you first. Then you can introduce me to your mates.

Multipurpose

These photographs don’t have to live and die on a dating app.

A good photograph of you out and about in London, looking like yourself and doing something you enjoy, can be just as useful on LinkedIn, your website, a professional bio or any number of other places where you need a candid photograph that says a little more about you than your job title.

Sometimes you want something a bit more human. A bit of texture. A sneak peek at who you are. A photograph that looks professional without looking corporate, and confident without looking like a Hugo Boss advert.

I’ve photographed people specifically for dating profiles, and part of the fun is working out where to go, how to use the surroundings and how to get photographs that feel natural to the person we’re photographing.

One good session can give you a collection of images you can use in different ways, depending on where you’re going and what you want to communicate.

Which brings us back to the original conundrum: if you’re putting yourself out there, shouldn’t your photographs be doing you justice?

You can keep swiping, hoping that the right person will somehow see past the questionable lighting, the nostril shot and the toilet roll making an unexpected guest appearance.

Or you could give yourself a fighting chance. Surely, a photo shoot is worth considering.

How much would you spend to find love?

Actual love?